Our relationship with our subconscious is like a relationship between parent and child.

A child with a parent who always rushes around, never listens, and gets angry at the child when the child feels bad or does something the parent doesn’t like or approve of, will not feel safe to open up and share their feelings or experiences with their parent.

The child will not feel safe to tell their parent when they are in trouble, because they fear being punished, maybe even having their emotions or vulnerability turned against them.

Even if the parent isn’t angry, there is no safe space for the child to open up if the parent is always busy.

So, we need to provide time and space for our children if we want to have close relationships with them that don’t just deal with the practical aspects of life.

Our relationship with our inner life, especially our subconscious, is no different.

If we constantly run from what we feel, are impatient with ourselves, always busy, or become upset at ourselves when we are afraid or can’t do something we think we should be able to do, there is no safe space for our subconscious to start to open up and share what it is holding onto.

We must provide a safe environment if we want to know what is hidden on those deeper levels inside us.

We also need to listen without judgment and interference so that the truth has space to reveal itself.

Provide a safe environment

To build that kind of relationship, we can begin with the easier things, such as our daily agitations, thoughts, and reactions.

When we can deal with them in a healthy way, we are ready to go deeper.

But patience is required.

If we, for example, have been busy, angry, not listening to or providing space for our child – or if we have been trying to mold them into a version that we would like them to be, we can’t expect them to open up to us the second we decide to begin to provide space. Because, of course, they don’t trust us.

It takes time to build trust, and trust is earned.

It is earned by continuously showing up and showing them that we have changed and can be trusted.

The same is true when it comes to the subconscious.

We can’t go directly from running from and covering up our emotions, or indulging in them, to thinking that our inner life will trust us with its secrets.

We need to show up first. And when that safety and trust is there, the subconscious can begin to reveal its truths.