Are the people who judge us really jealous of us?

”She’s just jealous”,  ”They wish they could do what I do”.

I hear people say that relatively often.

They say it when people judge their way of living or when someone asks questions about their choices that make them feel judged. 

As a way of explaining to themselves why people do that, they say that others are jealous or wish they could do the same. 

It might be true in some cases. But unless we are sure that it’s true, I don’t think it’s a good way to handle other people’s judgment.

Lying to ourselves to make ourselves feel better about our choices or other people’s judgment of them is never the answer – even if it feels better in the moment. 

Not if we truly want to stand by our choices.

I know the feeling of being misunderstood or judged. It feels like the story of my life sometimes, at least since my awakening journey started to pick up speed about 10 years ago.

I have been judged a lot – and I have made many choices in life due to my awakening and intuition that people didn’t understand. 

I have also heard others interpret some of my choices in life in all kinds of ways (and they were all wrong).

But sometimes, people who judge have already decided what they think, so it doesn’t matter if we try to explain. They judge anyway. 

It’s not fun when it happens. It has made me sad at times. It has also made me question myself and my decisions, even though I know in my heart and soul that they were the right decisions.

So, I know it can hurt when others judge us. 

But I don’t think healing or accepting ourselves and standing up for our choices has to include lying to ourselves. 

And I think that’s what people sometimes do when they say those things.

I don’t believe everyone who has judged me throughout the years has been jealous of me. Or that everyone who has questioned my decisions wished they could do what I do. 

I even think it has been the opposite sometimes. They wouldn’t dream of doing what I do – and they didn’t want to. Some even looked down on me. 

So, I don’t tell myself they were jealous or wished they could do what I do, not even to make myself feel better, because it wouldn’t be authentic. 

I must stand by my choices and learn to live with the fact that everyone doesn’t understand them. I know why I made them – and I would probably make the same choices again. At least many of them.

But that acceptance has to come from within. We have to accept ourselves and stand by our choices if we feel they are the right choices – even if others don’t like them or understand.

The people who judge us harshly may not be the open-minded people we want to hang around anyway. I know I don’t. But sometimes, I have to be around them, and then it’s even more important that I stand by my choices.

When we tell ourselves a story that people who judge us are jealous or want to be like us,  there is something inside us that hasn’t accepted that other people don’t agree with what we are doing, or that they judge us for it.

And that is something to look at and examine so that we can become free.

It’s okay if people don’t understand us. It’s okay if people don’t like us. It’s okay if people don’t want to be like us.

It’s more important that we like and understand ourselves. And that we are happy with who we are.

That’s what matters most.