Last week, I closed the door on the last thing that kept me stuck in a life and old energies I could no longer stay in.
My 2024 and 2025 have been hard, and at the beginning of 2026, I finally decided to let go of everything that was draining my energy and had been draining it for 2 years.
I am not talking about one problem, or one person, one apartment, or even one income, business, or idea about how to do things.
I am talking about everything.
My whole life situation.
I knew it was necessary
I have been under pressure from several things for a long time now, and have lived with very little certainty.
And it finally became too much.
So, I decided to let go of what was weighing me down.
All of it.
(I’m keeping a few people and my life’s work, of course. But other than that, I am starting over, and I will do things differently from now on).
When I finally decided to let go, I had been stuck in situations that were draining my energy for a long time.
I had also spent that same time trying to resolve them in different ways without success.
I made a lot of progress, but I never managed to change things so that they were running smoothly or felt good again.
And when 2026 came, I realized that the only thing I could do was let go.
It wasn’t even a choice anymore; it was an absolute necessity.
Letting go without knowing the next step
If I had had everything figured out and known the exact next steps, it would have been much easier to let go.
But I didn’t.
I just knew I had had enough and that I couldn’t keep living in this way.
I had lost my spark, and at times I felt no joy. And if you know me closely, you know that is alarming because I usually have a lot of spark and energy. And my outlook on life is usually positive – because I have been through a lot, and despite that, I have seen things work out in wonderful ways. So, I know what’s possible.
I am also used to walking my own path, even through hardship.
I am used to getting up by myself, again and again, after falling.
But this time it was just too much for too long. From so many directions.
So I decided to let go of it all, without knowing the exact next step.
I have a clear direction
I have a clear direction in my life, and I have had it for many years.
That’s what has gotten me through this time.
I also have plans, but I have had to change them, again and again, due to the circumstances I have been in.
Leaving before I have it all figured out is not easy.
But even though it’s hard, I know that the situations I am leaving will never turn into something that will get me to where I want to go. They will just continue to take my focus and energy, until there is very little left to focus on where I am going and what I really want to do.
I have a life to live – not a life to solve
I have a life to live. Not a life to solve.
A life that I want to enjoy again.
I miss my wild, authentic self.
And by wild, I mean my real and raw self. The unconditioned soul and human I am, beyond everything that life and society have told me to be.
I sensed my wild self again
After making a difficult call last week, I was sitting in nature by the water, taking in the beauty around me.
I listened to two birdwatchers who were sitting next to me. They were talking about birds and how they move from one place to another when spring comes. (In much more detail, of course :)).
And for the first time in a long time, I could sense my wild self again.
I felt that if I could just sit there in nature and feel the sun on my skin and listen to the birdwatchers talk for the rest of my life, I would be happy.
I had missed being so free.
The next step
It’s time for a new beginning.
I know it.
I have known it for a long time.
And I have planned much of it too.
But I didn’t plan what happened during this time. I had thought the path to where I am going would be smoother.
And that’s what I would have wished, of course.
But we don’t always get to choose.
I am happy with my choices
I am happy with my choices, and that I finally made them all.
This is not about giving up or being defeated.
It’s about letting go of what doesn’t work so that I can free up my energy and live fully again.
About Hanna Stenefalk
