In this post, I will discuss two types of triggers, and how to handle them.
1. The one that triggers an old wound, emotion, or pattern
This is the most common trigger, or at least the one that most people talk about when they are discussing triggers.
This is when we are triggered by something another person says or does or an event happening in our lives. In this case, we react because it triggers something inside us that we haven’t acknowledged yet – something that needs to be acknowledged.
And how do we know that it needs to be acknowledged? Because it triggers strong emotions and/or reactions inside us.
So, if we start to feel anger, anxiety, fear, irritation, or sadness, or if we spend all day (or several days) thinking about it, talking to others about it, or secretly hoping that things will not work out for the person who triggered us, which is what the ego sometimes does – those are clear signs that there is something inside us that we need to look at.
If we look closer, we might also see that the event or person we are upset about is not the only event or person that has triggered those emotions or reactions in us.
It has most likely happened before, even if it was in another circumstance.
And as long as we keep reacting to our external environment instead of looking within to figure out what the outer events trigger inside us, we will keep being triggered because the cause that is causing us to react is still there.
What to do when triggered
The next time you are triggered, try looking at the reaction.
What is your mind doing and saying? What kinds of thoughts are coming up? How does it feel in the body when you are triggered? Where do you feel it?
And what kinds of reactions are you experiencing? Do you feel like calling someone and talking about the person who triggered you? Do you start yelling at the person? Do you become defensive or stop talking to them for a week?
Observing in this way with curiosity takes away absolute seriousness of the situation, and it creates space between the event and your thoughts, emotions, and reactions about it.
This is the first step toward freeing yourself. And sometimes, it is all you need to do to stop the pattern.
*You may need to go deeper later and look at the cause if you keep being triggered (and I show you how to do that in my upcoming book and online program), but many times breaking the pattern like this is enough to stop it.
2. The trigger that is guidance
This trigger can work as a guide. Not toward our old, unprocessed wounds but toward what matters to us and sometimes toward what we might want to do in life that we are not (yet) doing.
If we see another person doing something that we know we want to do, that might trigger strong emotions inside us.
We might also experience this kind of trigger if we see people acting in a way that is mean to others, or when someone is doing something we know could be done in a way that would be better for the people involved.
These triggers will not trigger emotions or reactions that last too long (if they do, it is the first kind of trigger), but enough emotion to make us angry or uncomfortable.
And that can be a good thing because it can help us act and point us in the right direction.
If we allow that uncomfortable feeling to trigger us into action (instead of shutting down or becoming stuck in our emotions), these triggers can be our best teachers when it comes to clarifying what we want or don’t want. They can also trigger us into action in our own lives and the world.
What to do when triggered
Try to allow the trigger to work as fuel for action.
What can you do right now to change the situation? What steps can you take to create that life for yourself or others? Who can you call? What can you do today or tomorrow to move you in that direction?
It doesn’t have to be a big, life-changing step: just one simple action or a plan for action.
When you do that, you allow the trigger to work as fuel for creating the life you want – or for working for the changes you wish to see in the world.
I wish you all the best!
